This is Renee. On January 11th, 2007 the world lost this wonderful woman. I've known Renee since I was 7 years old when she started babysitting me. She had a 3 year old daughter and a 6 week old baby girl already and, I just realized, was only 18. I sometimes have a hard time dealing with my 3 girls and I'm almost 30!! She took care of me and treated me like her own, I never felt like I was just a paycheck. Her daughters and I have grown up together and I feel like they are my sisters. My mom and I always hung out with Renee and the girls and their dad. After a few years they moved to Vacaville and even though she didn't babysit me anymore, they still loved me and wanted me around, so EVERY vacation from school I would go and stay with them. Then I got more into the teen years and saw them less and less. She was at my first wedding though, and grabbed the microphone and toasted to us and used her famous phrase "this is my other daughter, the one I never had to give birth to". I can't even count how many times I heard that, but it seems to mean more now. I moved away, then moved back and she and girls would come for birthdays or showers. But still it felt like we were close, all of us. Like it was one of those relationships that you never really grow away from.

We really started reconnecting when I had my youngest daughter and got remarried. My 'sisters' and I had started hanging out a lot more and getting close again. They were in my wedding and I couldn't have been happier. She was there too and came upstairs while I was getting ready. It was getting late and I was stressed because I didn't have any one to help with my hair and getting on my dress. That was exactly when she showed up. She asked if I needed any help and I almost cried "YES! MY HAIR! MY DRESS! HELP!" She helped me into my dress and pinned my tiara and veil to my head with about 50 bobby pins! She helped me down the hall and the stairs where the little old ladies would stop and say how beautiful I was. She would pipe in with "This is my other daughter! I'm her other mom!" After that day the girls and I have stayed close and I would see and hear from her more often. When one of my 'sisters' recently had a baby I was able to be one of her coaches and Renee told me so many times how glad she was that I was able to be there for her and take care of her when she needed it. At the baby's shower she introduced me as her "other daughter" to just about everyone. Now that I am a mother and think about it more, that really means a lot.

She even remember my birthday and called me. I was in the store and she was telling me how proud she was of me and happy that the girls and I were close again. She even started crying. Course, that seemed to be what happened every time lately. She also called during the holiday dinner I had with the girls and their families. She told me again how proud she was and loved me and how great I had turned out. Then she asked to talk to my husband and told him what a great guy he must be and how happy he seemed to make me. And how she could tell because I had really grown up and become very responsible and that he must be a big part of that - and she cried. I think that was the last time I talked to her.

It's just so sad. She was only 39. She was fun and spontanious. She was loving and caring. She was a wonderful mom and gramma and second mom. She was supportive and understanding. It just seems unreal when I think that I'll never see her again. It felt weird and wrong when she wasn't at the memorial service. I kept expecting to see her come around the corner and then it reminded me that she never would. I can't even begin to comprehend what her girls must be feeling. They all were so close and this is so wrong and unexpected. I don't even really think that it has sunken in for me. She was just so young and wonderful and loved - she deserved so much more.

I miss her. It really makes me think just how fragile life can be and how quickly it can be taken away. She seemed so much more in touch lately. Not just with me, but she was making contact with people that she hadn't talked to in years. She just seemed to be getting her self and things together. Maybe that is what I'll try to take from this whole horrible thing. Let people know what they mean to you. Not just once, but when ever you feel it - every time you feel it. Be connected to people and let them in. Who knows how long we are here for, there just isn't a day you can take for granted. I miss her.