This week I learned that camping is hard with four children.

You would think that would be a given, wouldn't you? Especially since most people I know TOLD me I was one sandwich short of a picnic for even *thinking* about taking 4 kids camping.

My trip, in list form:

• We had to leave after 4pm because we had to wait for my stepson to get home - that is REALLY late when MOST people got to the campsite Friday MORNING and it's first come, first served
• The truck overheated TWICE on the way there
• DH got second degree burns when he opened the water tank and it boiled over his arm

and yet ... we pressed on ...

• We got to the campsite at 7 ... PM ... and there was only ONE spot left.
• We didn't realize that this site was the only one left FOR A REASON - to be mentioned in a bullet point later
• DH decided to put up the NEW, 2-room, 8-man, tent - for the FIRST TIME - before dinner
• Because I don't cook ... ahem
• We, or *HE*, started dinner at 8:30 ... PM
• My children are the hungriest people I have ever met - I'm concerned they have tapeworms - and they let me know every 5.3 minutes they were "STARVING TO DEATH"
• It was dark before dinner was done and we were bombarded by kamakazi alien bugs that I have NEVER seen before and it sent us all screaming into the night
• We promised the kids smores and I am a lady of my word so there HAD to be smores ... even if it was 10:30 at night
• I *TOTALLY* didn't do that just for myself ;-)
• We went to bed at 11 and eventhough the children were EXHAUSTED, they faught sleep ... and they faught HARD
• My step son rocks back and forth so hard in his sleep that DH woke up and freaked out thinking there was a racoon in the tent
• We awoke with the sun ... at 5:30 in the morning ... because it was beating down on our tent and it was already 150* inside ... ish
• In the morning we found that we had managed to pick the ONLY campsite with little to NO SHADE whatsoever, and more loose dirt than Kansas
• Lil Miss, my 4 year old, is the cutest (and clumbsiest) 4 year old you will find - within 5 minutes of arriving at camp she fell, face first, into the DUST and stood up looking she had gotten a spray tan
• After breakfast we tried to escape the already 95* heat (and this time I'm NOT exagerating) by treking down to the river to fish
• It was BEAUTIFUL
• DH was determined to teach my daughters to fish since neither of them had ever gone so this was going to be exciting for everyone!
• There were NO fish in this river ... I kid you not ... so DH & the girls were VERY dissappointed
• I was already MORE than ready to go home at this point but tried to keep cool by dipping my feet in the ice cold river

THEN it got bad ...

• My toes were numb by the time we left so when got out I slipped on the rocks
• I managed to bruise & skin both my shins from ankle to knee, my chest & my hands
• I ALSO managed to fall in the water ... on my camera
• I cried ... which always gives me a MEAN headache
• I forgot to bring tylenol
• We had to trek way back up the big o hill with my leg THROBBING with every step

And it was only 11:30am ...

• So we went back to camp to have lunch and ... spend some quality time sweating
• We hovered over the 3 leaves worth of shade we had in one corner of the campsite with the kids in the other
• It was about 100*
• It was the longest hour EVER.
• To cool off we went down to the bend in the river where it was shallow
• EVERYONE *ELSE* in the campground had the same idea
• There was no riverside beach or even shore, just rocks ... lots & LOTS of rocks

This was when I first started thinking "DAMN I *NEED* MY CAMERA!"

• It was beautiful & we were lucky enough to find a place that had a rock made dam that basically made a little kiddie pool!
• I was able to sit my chair (and my HUGE leg) in the water and play with the kids & prevent them from drowning
• I watched as all the other people there let their kids (about the same age as my two oldest) just swim around and go down the rapids and have a GOOD OL TIME
• I started REALLY looking forward to my kids' swim lessons & them being about 4 years older lol
• DH fished the whole time, moving up and down the river, so I minded the kids
• That was fun ... for awhile ... then when they started getting whiney and my headache reached migraine proportions ... it wasn't so fun anymore
• FINALLY he joined us after about 2 hours and then wanted to play in the water as the children started to scatter and try to climb on rocks and give their mother a heart attack considering what she had *just* been through
• When we left we went to the nearest general store, about 20 minutes of WINDY road away, where we got to pay like $20 for 8 Tylenol that didn't work - but at least it killed some time ...
• We got back to our site and moved our chairs over to the new 3 leaves worth of shade in the 104* heat
• I fell asleep in my camping chair as the girls colored or read & Lil Miss and the Boy played in the Kansas like dust/dirt

FINALLY ... it was time to make dinner and we PRAISED GOD, I'm not kidding ...

• When I wasn't spraying the kids down with bug spray, I was covering them in sunblock
• When I wasn't covering them in sunblock, I was wiping their faces/hands/arms
• When I was done wiping them ... it was time to reapply the bug spray

Now this is where the story takes an unexpected GOOD turn ...

• We all ate a lovely dinner together and it was MUCH earlier than the night before so the kamakazi bugs had not yet begun to strike
• After dinner we made homemade popcorn over the campfire! AND IT WAS GOOOOOOD :)
• It was actually cool enough outside to sit BY the fire!
• We ate popcorn and had funny face contests and the kids were SO cute
• This was the 50hundredth time I said "WOW I WISH I HAD MY CAMERA ... WAAAAAAAH!!!!!"
• And that is when my DH went to the truck and produced my camera in OK working order!
• My memory card still had the other pictures on it too!
• So I was able to take pictures of the popcorn, the silliness & the smores that brought the house down!
• DH found that if he put the lantern far FAR away the bugs were drawn over THERE and left us completely alone :)
• We all went to bed at a reasonable hour and slept reasonably well :) no racoons ;)

And then we awoke to the HEAAAAT ...

• DH went out and attempted to fish so I let the kids sleep until he came back
• I think he came back after aWHILE and it was STILL only 6:30am
• We ate a lovely breakfast that he cooked while I did the bug spray/sunblock lather/rinse/repeat dance
• And then it was time to get the @#$% outta there!
• It seemed like a sweet forever but we finally packed up, hoped in the truck and bid that little pit of hell goodbye
• We had toyed with the idea of stopping for lunch but after I saw 4 DIRTY faces in the backseat I figured that if we DID stop, we would have to buy us all new shirts to wear inside since I had only packed ONE PAIR OF WARM WEATHER CLOTHES, and that was just not in the budget

So we got home, bathed, scrubbed, scoured & just about took off the top layer of skin ... but all felt human again ... and it was good.

Honestly, I'm game to try the whole camping thing again ... and no I'm not drunk ... yet.

I just think if we get a better spot, with shade, no dirt, no bugs, no desert-like heat & no kids ... we should be GREAT! lol ;) J/K about the kids part ... maybe just LESS kids ... lol