Well, today has not been the best day. It started off just fine, I was excited about having company over tomorrow and even cleaning! I had the Christmas music on for inspiration and decided to pay some bills! YAY! *said with a sarcastic tone*

Then it all fell apart. When I say all, I mean pretty much ANYTHING that involves money.

I had a certain credit card with a high credit limit, paid off, and set aside for emergencies {read: holidays} and it was going to be used for this time of year to get us through this VERY expensive grouping of property taxes, holiday dinnerS, presents, anniversary, AND my birthday.

Now, I am the first to admit, it was not a perfect plan. I KNOW I should have been proactive and perhaps saved money to pay for these things seen's how none of them come up out of the blue. But with the house and many other things that came up this year, this was my "Get Us Through The Holidays Plan".

Now I attempted to use said credit card the other day and it was declined, so I called them today and received some very bad news. They had decided to close the account. It's a convoluted story and I just don't wanna get into it. They told me I could reapply, so I did, THAT is when the told me it didn't matter AT ALL that I was a previous customer of like 10 FREAKIN YEARS, or that they shouldn't have closed the account AT ALL. OH and they also told me that I would find out *IF* I was CHOSEN or not, and what my limit would be within 30 days.

NOOOOOW, tell me folks, HOW MANY DAYS LEFT UNTIL CHRISTMAS?!

Things are different now then they were 10 years ago and I have a feeling I will NOT be getting the same set up I had before. AND *IF* I did, it could be too late.

SO, since I have gotten little for my kids, nothing for my husband family and friends, have a big dinner coming up, my 30th birthday, some fun craftsy holiday stuff I wanted to do, and TAXES - I am kinda freaking out here.

To add insult to injury, I received a certified letter today from a company who fraudulently stole money from us a while ago and "claim" we owe them much much more. We have had many issues with the company and their scare tactics and I literally get so upset when they contact us that I feel like throwing up. They say we received services from them that we did not and that we owe them apx $10,000. They are very persistant and now claim they are taking us to court. MUCH OF THIS appears to be a scare tactic and receiving the certified letter today ... well it just completed my day.

So I tried to block it out and continue trying to clean/decorate. Then one of my BFFs called and said those words that seem to just make me BREAK DOWN "How are you? Is everything OK?" Well, I just cried and cried. I told her my sob story and she gave me some very good advice. Now, I just have to tell my husband. I was good though today. I kept it all in {hence the break down} cause he FREAKS OUT about money, and I REALLY didn't want to upset him at work. Plus, I needed to come up with a plan.

The two of have found that when a situation comes up one of us MUST stay strong for the other one. We CAN'T both loose it at the same time, or be planless. THAT just ends in frustration and chaos. So we have unspokenly taken opposite roles every time something has come up. If I am upset and worried and freakin out - he is calm and collected and reassuring. If he is freakin out and scared - I am cool and organized and come up with a plan. It has saved us many many times I think.

So now I am sitting here DREADING telling him. I think I have a plan but I just really don't know. I can't tell him before dinner because I have to run to the store afterward. So I gotta hold on to this for what feels like FOREVER.

If you are a praying person, and I know some of you are, please pray that we find a way out of this MESS. That we are still able to have a nice Christmas and don't pull our hair out in the process. OH and pray that those horrible horrible people at that "company" die in a fiery accident that destroys every trace of their very existance. Ok, maybe not THAT much, but the fire part would be ok I think :-D

Until tomorrow then, thanks for listening, it really helps.